This is my third interview with Claire Bourgein who has been working as a spiritual counsellor and meditation teacher for more than thirty years. From my own experiences, I can tell you she’s as authentic as they come. She has been my teacher for twenty years. Claire walks her talk 24/7. She has assisted a lot of people from all kinds of backgrounds to make better choices and to live happier lives.
In our last interview, Claire spoke to us about anger, resentment, and forgiveness.
You can view it here.
In today’s interview, Claire continues with knowing your triggers and paying attention to those all important pauses that allow for changes to the outcomes of our daily lives. Claire helps us to understand that the energy we were born with largely determines how we feel and that our current circumstances and relationships are often extensions of this same energy. To master the way we feel, we must first, therefore, have an awareness of what we are actually feeling at the very core of us.
What forms our ‘prime core directive’?
The energy we leave with from our previous life, we come back in with, in our current life. In other words, we’re already tainted before we even go into mum’s womb. When we are in the womb, we become mum’s feelings too – that’s been well recorded. So, we become even more tainted. For instance, if mum felt rejected, or angry, we pick that all up. And of course, we’re highly sensitive at that age. It’s not just about what she was feeling then because it has to do with what came before, that is, what she came in with. When we’re older we may have a feeling and not know where on earth this feeling came from, but actually, it might have been your mother’s. We’re very tainted when we come in and that forms our ‘prime core directive’ – how we feel at our core. By three years old we’re well and truly set in that.
I had a client who was born in Australia, but his parents were born in a different country and in a conflict region. Even though his parents left their homeland for Australia when they were young, my client, who had never been exposed to actual war, in his daily life, was going through the effects of being ravaged by war. He had taken on all that energy, those feelings, from his parents. However something went in you, it will come out of you the same way. If you’re not careful, you’ll think it’s about now. If you’re mindful enough, you won’t go into those old feelings but will observe them. As you start becoming more aware, you can see these things starting to come out of you. In my experience, it doesn’t come out unless you work on yourself. The more healing work you do, and the more mindful you become, the more that arises and comes out of you.
When you come in with your ‘prime core directive’, it has an emotional, mental and physical aspect to it. If you understand that, you will watch those different aspects and be aware of it. For example, you may feel hurt, and get disappointed, mentally, and suffer from headaches, physically. Those will come up when that cycle comes around. A lot of people tend to go into anxiety, rejection, frustration or anger modes. So, when you watch it more, you can see what modes you go into and you can see the patterns more clearly, on deeper levels. What you do with it at the time is what keeps it running or not, but it will come up because that is the physical aspect of it. It’s always going to come up. You’ll never get away from the cycle until the energy has expended itself, which for 99% of people will not be in this lifetime. It’s not a problem that it comes up, it’s how long do you keep it running for. We need to learn non-attachment.
How can we practice non-attachment?
What you focus on grows, so don’t feed the feeling – that’s how you can practice non-attachment. That’s your choice, but it’s very hard to do that if you don’t recognise what it is that you feel, emotionally, mentally and physically. If you’re going into a feeling you’re really just going into the past or the imagined future. Once you start to recognise your feeling pattern and that it’s not about now, then it gives you a bit of a gap from it. Peace is found in the gap. In other words, you’re not totally hooked into it when you become mindful and see it, and acknowledge it, and say, “OK, this is how I feel.” Don’t try and stop it, and don’t keep it running either. You only keep it running by ‘imagineering’. For example, if your inner dialogue is feeling alone, and ‘nobody cares’ plays over and over inside you, when it comes up, see it very clearly, say to yourself, None of this is true, and so, make a choice not to hook into it and put some words in to replace it, like, I am happy and I feel good. I am at peace with myself and my circumstances. I love myself!
You dissipate energy by devaluing it. Know that it’s just a feeling and it will pass. Things are sorting out, and it’s part of a process. The more you do that, the more you become present. And remember, having that feeling come back again, in future, is not about failing, it’s not about going backward, it’s just energy – it just is. Do the same thing, recognise the feeling but don’t hook into it – don’t feed the energy! All our life we get different people who play the same game, who will trigger our inner dialogue that arises from our ‘prime core directive’. It’s not about now, and it’s not about them, it’s really about what’s going on inside of us and they are like mirrors, reflecting this back to us. Seeing this will give you that gap, and then you can choose whether or not to feed the feeling, and how best to respond to someone’s behaviour towards you. To learn to speak up for oneself is very important, and there is a big difference between argumentativeness and assertiveness. Assertiveness is about having good boundaries: ‘this is what I will accept, and this is what I won’t accept’. If someone has upset you, speak to them about it when you’re calm, and in a kind way.
How can we change our old patterns?
By not feeding and thereby repeating old patterns, the old patterns have to change. Knowing your pattern is very important because then you can see it more clearly when it arises – what it is that makes you upset or gets you annoyed, or whatever it is that you go into. And then starting to understand how it really does affect the brain in a lot of ways. Then we can start creating new patterns, that is new neural pathways in the brain, by putting new thought-forms in, and the word is the way of doing that. Visualising also has a huge impact, but you need to change the thought first. The thought needs to be neutral, it needs to neutralise to work. That’s the difference between an affirmation and a ‘neutral solution’.
An affirmation comes from the intent, motive, and desire of want, all from the point of view that we think there’s something wrong. We’re actually dealing with the mind. The mind doesn’t care if something is right or wrong, it just is. So the difference with the ‘neutral solution’, because they neutralise energy thereby bringing a solution, is that the intent, motive, and desire behind that is clean, it doesn’t come from causing polarities – it comes from coming into your centre, and that’s your birthright. It may even be the same words as an affirmation, but it’s a completely different intent behind it. What creates your reality? It’s your intent. For example, you may be saying, I’m a beautiful, lovable, vibrant person, which is neutral, but if you don’t believe that your intent is, I don’t believe that – but the more you say it, it will go into deeper levels of your brain and you will start to believe it. You only become it when you believe it. The thought is so powerful because it’s energy, and energy is God-force!
Thanks, Claire for yet another thought-provoking interview. I was especially affected by the following words, “What creates your reality? It’s your intent.”
I will leave you with a helpful and inspiring meditation written by Claire titled: Spirit In Action – Day 1. It is part of a weekly series for daily use. In ‘Day 1’, Claire covers briefly in her introduction the subject of this interview. Her talk is then followed by a 20-minute meditation set to beautiful music by Tommaso Pollio.
If you would like to purchase Claire Bourgein’s first CD, With Meditation in Mind click here.
If you would like a private consultation with Claire Bourgein, contact her for further details.